I’ve been thinking about love and compassion this week. After some thought, I don’t think love for other people can be unconditional. (Children and other close family members being the exception.) However, I think that compassion and love of the self is by nature unconditional.
Love is a deep emotional bond, and it’s not something that we can feel for everyone. Even forming that bond with someone does not guarantee that it will be permanent; people and circumstances always change. All of this reverses when I start thinking about myself instead of others. I need to be able to offer myself unconditional love, as well as unconditional compassion. I’ve always found it easy to love myself, but I am struggling to offer myself compassion. It’s something I want to work on, because I believe compassion is a component of love.
I work at a daycare and it’s currently cold and flu season. I feel a lot of compassion toward our sick kids (and our healthy kids), but I do not necessarily love them. I want them to recover, and I do what I can to remove their immediate suffering, but that is not love, that is compassion.
I am coming to love some of them, but it’s not unconditional. I will not be able to maintain my love for any of these children if they grow up to be people I don’t like, but I will still be able to feel compassion for them. I’ll still see and want to alleviate their suffering; that is unconditional.
***
What are your thoughts about the difference between love and compassion? Are their situations where compassion should be conditional?
*(Thanks to Amy at The Handmade and Natural Life for making me think about unconditional self-love.)
2 Responses to “Unconditional Love Is a Lie”