Banishing Negative Self-Talk

13 Oct

When I think about my plans to leave Spokane and the best way to use my time here until then, I keep catching myself assuming that it will be difficult, that I’ll never achieve everything I’m trying to do, that I’m going to struggle and still barely get through.

This is ridiculous.  This is a clear remnant of the poverty mentality that is at the root of my core story.  There is no reason I will need to struggle and suffer.  There is no reason I can’t make enough money to meet my perfectly reasonable goals.  There is no reason to assume I will not progress.  I seem to believe that because I haven’t had these things in past, that means I can never have them.  Ever.

Managing these rather toxic thoughts ties in with this week’s goal of self-compassion.  I’m following three simple steps to rewrite this particular aspect of my core story.

  1. Recognize: Recognize the poverty mentality when it occurs and remember that I do not need to think that way.
  2. Compassion: Show myself some compassion; I’ve spent my whole life with these assumption, so change will not be immediate.
  3. Rewrite: Reframe the self-defeating thought into something more helpful.  “My next move will give me the opportunity to meet some amazing people.”

I’m hoping that with some practice the positive, helpful thoughts will come more naturally than the negative, defeatist ones.

***

How do you handle unnecessarily pessimistic self-talk?  Do you have a system, or do you take each thought as it comes?

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6 Responses to “Banishing Negative Self-Talk”

  1. CArol October 13, 2011 at 3:00 PM #

    Meditation helps me a great deal, journalling ~ feeding myself positive thoughts & telling my’ego’ to go ‘sit in a chair’ ~ while I get on with trying to make a quality day ~ ” Thoughts become things; choose the good ones.’ (from Tut ~ check it out online ~ ) Great to get daily in your email as ‘food for the soul’ ~ namaste, Carol ^_^ (A Creative Harbor)

    • Jill October 13, 2011 at 9:50 PM #

      Thanks for the suggestions! I like the idea of giving the ego a time-out.

  2. Camilla October 13, 2011 at 3:23 AM #

    Thank you for this post. I too have a major move on the horizon, and it will involve some changes to the way I manage my finances. Hard not to let the fear of hardship and poverty interfere with the more positive aspects of my plans. I appreciate your suggestions about how to deal with the feelings 🙂

    • Jill October 13, 2011 at 9:49 PM #

      I’m glad it was helpful! Where are you moving?

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. 3 Quick Tips to Cultivate Emotional Awareness « Real Live Revolution - October 21, 2011

    […] Awareness does not necessitate action.  Start off small.  Notice how you are feeling and if you can easily make an improvement, feel free to do so.  However, the initial goal is to get in the habit of noticing our emotions, nothing more.  Telling ourselves we have to immediately change every negative emotion creates an enormous burden; why would we turn that burden into a habit?  Instead, note your feelings, offer yourself some compassion, and move on.  Do not get caught up in negative self-talk. […]

  2. Love vs. Compassion « Real Live Revolution - October 14, 2011

    […] as well as unconditional compassion.  I’ve always found it easy to love myself, but I am struggling to offer myself compassion.  It’s something I want to work on, because I believe compassion […]

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