Chapter six, Recovering a Sense of Possibility, was all about learning what we want and how we limit ourselves. I found it the most interesting and approachable chapter thus far.
Morning Pages: 7/7
Artist’s Date: Super hard this week; I could not relax and I did not feel terribly creative. I finally just watched Battlestar Galactica in the bath. It was more passive than creative, but it was some nice, quiet time with myself.
Tasks: This week I did the majority of the tasks. I love making lists and this week was all about lists designed to give me a little insight into what I want and what I can do.
- 5 Things I Would Do If It Weren’t Too Crazy
- 5 Things I Would Do If It Weren’t Too Selfish
- 10 Things I Love That I Am Not Allowed To Do
- 19 Wishes
- 5 Grievances I Have With God
- 5 Things My Wealth, 65-year-old Self Will Do
- 10 Ways I Am Mean To Myself
- 10 Items I Would Like To Own
- I can do this.
- Progress, not perfection.
- I am focused and disciplined.
- I have a beautiful, healthy body.
- I deserve the wealth of the universe; I return it with joy and enthusiasm.
What I Learned
I’m starting to see that my problems are very basic in nature: Fear of deviating from that core story poverty mentality is huge for me. I still see life as a zero-sum game, so if I have something good now, that means I can’t have it later. Next week we work on recovering a sense of abundance, something I think will be very helpful for me.
* * *
I found it illuminating to look at the things I don’t do out of fear of selfishness. Are these things really selfish? What does it mean to be selfish?
If it weren’t too selfish, I would…
- Get the hell out of Spokane today.
- Buy nice clothes.
- Resume my annual trip to my favorite music festival.
- Let go of the friends who rarely put effort into our friendship.
- Spend more time, money, and attention on my appearance.
What are your selfish desires?