Tag Archives: poverty mentality

Banishing Negative Self-Talk

13 Oct

When I think about my plans to leave Spokane and the best way to use my time here until then, I keep catching myself assuming that it will be difficult, that I’ll never achieve everything I’m trying to do, that I’m going to struggle and still barely get through.

This is ridiculous.  This is a clear remnant of the poverty mentality that is at the root of my core story.  There is no reason I will need to struggle and suffer.  There is no reason I can’t make enough money to meet my perfectly reasonable goals.  There is no reason to assume I will not progress.  I seem to believe that because I haven’t had these things in past, that means I can never have them.  Ever.

Managing these rather toxic thoughts ties in with this week’s goal of self-compassion.  I’m following three simple steps to rewrite this particular aspect of my core story.

  1. Recognize: Recognize the poverty mentality when it occurs and remember that I do not need to think that way.
  2. Compassion: Show myself some compassion; I’ve spent my whole life with these assumption, so change will not be immediate.
  3. Rewrite: Reframe the self-defeating thought into something more helpful.  “My next move will give me the opportunity to meet some amazing people.”

I’m hoping that with some practice the positive, helpful thoughts will come more naturally than the negative, defeatist ones.

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How do you handle unnecessarily pessimistic self-talk?  Do you have a system, or do you take each thought as it comes?

Hello, Universe

28 Sep

I went to my interview today; they watched me work for fifteen minutes and then they hired me.  I actually started immediately.  I’m pleased and grateful that things worked out so nicely, but I need to be realistic: this is not a good job.  The pay is terrible, the business is incredibly disorganized, and I will be taken advantage of in this position.  The work itself should be fun, but this is not a good job.

I’m feeling a little stuck, so naturally I turned to Havi Brooks and her brilliantly formatted very personal ads.  I always find that good things come when I ask the universe for what I want, so maybe I should create a space for myself to ask the universe.  Yeah, maybe.

What I Want

I’m trying to be specific, and I’m failing.  What I really want is a job that allows me to use my authentic skills — the ones that are intrinsic to me and the ones I’ve learned.  I want a job that pays me enough to take care of myself and I want to work for and with people that will remember that I’m a person, not just a cog, and my time has value.

The Potential I Can See

I felt sad and hopeless the first time I tried to answer this question.  The question I asked was, “What if I never experience truly supporting myself and taking care of myself?”  What if I don’t need to do it all myself?  After all, the entire point of this exercise is to seek help instead of trying to do it alone.

Fortunately I have some wonderful people in my life, and they gave me the push I needed.  I can see that good jobs exist, jobs that make people happy, that solve people’s problems, that help people travel, that help people through rough times.  I can see that I deserve to have a life free from the stress of worrying about money because my job doesn’t pay enough, or not having enough time because I have to work too much, or dread going into work because it’s a poor environment.

I admit that I am struggling to get from where I am to where I want to be, but I do have faith that it can and will happen.  I might not know what to do, but someone will, and being open about what I need might create an opportunity.

My Commitment

I’m going to apply for jobs.  Every day.  It doesn’t cost me anything to apply and I’ll never know what could happen if I don’t.

I’m going to be open to what might happen, to what might work.  I’m not going to limit myself to what seems practical or logical and I’m not going to let myself get caught up in what I should do.

I can do this.

What if…

22 Sep

“What if the reason why it’s hard is because you were never meant to do it by yourself?”

What if it’s hard because I’m ignoring possibilities?

What if I learned to embrace my own abilities and shed my poverty mentality?

What I fully loved myself all the time, not just when I feel like my life is progressing?

What if I changed my core story?

5 Lessons I Don’t Want to Learn

15 Sep

Sorry, no credit or debit cards accepted.My trip to Michigan was depressing.  It usually is.  I was able to see almost all of my friends and family though, and it was great to spend some time with them, to be a part of their lives.  I miss that so much.

However, so many of those people I love are struggling in one way or another.  Most people are struggling financially — jobs are hard to come by and good jobs are all but nonexistent.  At the same time, the restaurant where my mom works, which my best friend’s family owns, is struggling to find decent employees.  I only saw one person who seemed truly happy and excited about her life.

I’m working to rewrite my core story and my trip home reminded me how I came by the beliefs I’m trying to change.  Here are some of the things I saw while I was there:

  • Financial insecurity is normal.  Real prosperity is an unrealistic goal.
  • Work is something we all have to suffer through; no one enjoys their job, but we have to have money.
  • There is always too much to do, so something must be sacrificed.  Usually it will be the sacrifice of a dream or a goal to reality.
  • You can’t count on anyone to help you.  Even if someone wants to help, they’re probably struggling too so how can they offer you anything?
  • It’s always best to be cautious.  Things could turn for the worst at any moment, so be prepared.

Everything there is treated as a zero-sum game.  People who are successful are regarded with resentment and suspicion — obviously they couldn’t have achieved that success without taking something from someone else.  People are reluctant to help others unless they can see a direct pay off.  Fear is always, always present and drives most decisions.  Everyone suffers from a poverty mentality and that is the part of my core story that I am trying to change.

Prosperity, not poverty.

Faith, not fear.

Abundance, not absence.

I can do this.