Healing, part two.

19 Dec

Reverb10: Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?  (Author: Leonie Allan)

Heal the world !!!
Image by bluewinx15(busy) via Flickr

Over two years ago my best friend and I had a fight.  It wasn’t a one time incident; we fought for weeks and maybe we’re still fighting.  But really?  We’re not speaking.  He hasn’t really been a part of my life since I moved to Tahoe, and he spent months prior to my move putting some distance between us.  Even so, I’ve been struggling to move on.

I can still see how losing him changed me, and these were not changes for the better.  I’m still overly sensitive about some things, and I’m still reluctant to let anyone get as close to me as he did.  Sometimes I still hope we’ll work things out, that the years we’ve put between us can be forgotten and we can go back to normal.

I loved him with good reason, but I need to heal this wound.  I’ve let it take over a big portion of my life and I want my life to be wholly my own.  I suspect he’ll always be someone I love, someone I’d welcome back into my life, but I don’t want to be as involved in something that’s no longer there.  In 2011 I’m going to actively work to heal.

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2 Responses to “Healing, part two.”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. To: Me! « Real Live Revolution - January 7, 2011

    […] life better for me, but I am the one responsible for the big gift that let me get through this year healing instead of hurting.  My own resilience was what got me through the year.  It was my resilience […]

  2. Making room for what I need. « Real Live Revolution - December 20, 2010

    […] No response.  Thursday morning I sent him an angry text.  Almost instantaneous response.  For various reasons, a failure to respond when I’m trying to communicate makes me feel more hurt and insecure […]

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